


The Best Kept Secrets

by danniperson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:24:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1650161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniperson/pseuds/danniperson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Albus Severus sees his father kissing his namesake one night, an event that unravels all of the secrets the older generation has been keeping for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Man Who Lies to the World

It was no secret that Ginny Potter favored her daughter over her sons. No one faulted her. Not her best friend, Luna Lovegood, who liked to comment on how alike the two female Potters were in both their looks and personality, that it was natural for them to get along better. Not Molly Weasley, the doting grandmother, who understood what a gift it was for a woman to have a daughter as she herself had waited so long for hers. Certainly not her younger son, Albus Severus Potter, who knew the truth of the matter was that Lily was Ginny's only child.

That wasn't common knowledge. In fact, Albus liked to think he was the only person, aside from his parents, that saw the truth. All of them, Harry, Snape, and Ginny had to know, though Albus doubted any of them knew that he was aware of it. How did one broach a subject such as this anyway?

It all started on the second night the Potter children were all home for the Christmas holidays five months ago. His dad had already owled that he was going to be at work late, letting them have dinner and to go to bed without him. Albus had stayed up late reading a book in the small library on the second floor. Aunt Hermione insisted they put the built-in library to good use, even supplying them with many books for it. It would be great, she said, to encourage their children to seek knowledge and could, at least, help with any schoolwork and projects they had during summer. It could even be useful for Harry and Ginny, as they were bound to need to consult one of the thick volumes for something one day when Hermione wasn't around to give them all of the answers. Everyone had made good use of the library at some point or another, though Albus was its only frequent visitor. Unlike the rest of his family, Albus really enjoyed reading. Lily was getting into it a little more these days but, for the most part, the family was made up of more active beings than intellectual ones.

The tome opened in front of him was  _True War_. It was all about the First and Second Wizarding Wars. Included in it were real stories of battles, the perspective of both sides of the war, a list of every person who died during them, and a small section containing the aftermath of the war. He had been inspired to read it while using the textbook  _Wartime Weapons: the Potions and Spells Used in the First and Second Wizarding Wars_  to help James write his end of the term Defense Against the Dark Arts essay. The textbook had been written by Severus Snape and Harry Potter. His father claimed to the public that he had found the portions written by Snape among the man's belongings and decided to honor him by completing the work then publishing it. It was an instant hit. Considering everyone believed Snape to be dead, his father was given a lot of credit, though Harry always made sure to correct them, swearing up and down that the majority of the book was due to Snape's years of research and note-taking. In the back of the book, there were recommended reading pages that listed other articles and books related to the wars, including the one Albus's nose was now buried in. Hermione Weasley had been the one to do all of the interviews, collecting information, and compiling all of the information in the book.

Albus couldn't get enough of it.

It wasn't that his parents refused to talk about the war. Everyone acknowledged that it was better for the next generation to be well aware of what had happened. It was important in knowing why the world was the way it was, why their parents were the way they were, why their godfather Snape was pretending to be dead, how to avoid the world falling into disarray, how to spot the warning signs in Dark wizards, among other things. The only issue was that the children knew the war was hard for their parents to talk about, even after all of these years. The last time the Potter family had talked about the war; Ginny had fallen into depression while Snape and Harry began having nightmares, flashbacks, and fought each other to the point of drawing wands where Ginny would step in to keep them apart. Ginny's depression was bad but was nothing compared to the darkness that seemed to overcome Harry and Snape whenever bad memories were brought into focus.

Then Victory Day, May 2nd, was always a bittersweet day of mourning and celebration in remembrance of the end of the war. It had meant a day of fireworks provided by Uncle George, a family gathering, a big meal provided by Grandma Weasley in their younger days. Now that they were older, it was hard to get into the spirit of things when it was so clear that the adults in the house weren't feeling the same things they were. Albus could see through the fake smiles now, noticing that his father always drank heavily on that day, that Ginny always seemed just a tad bit clingy with her family and always on edge. Now that they were old enough to really want to know more about the war, none of them was willing to subject their family to that sort of breakdown.

The book was like a godsend. Albus cherished everything written, reading over those comments by familiar names a million times. He was just reading about Snape's 'death' from his father's point of view when he heard the noises coming down the hallway. Knowing his father was home, Albus checked his watch, alarmed to see that it was past three in the morning. Considering it was the holidays, and they were all at a decent age, they didn't have a strict bedtime though it was encouraged that they didn't live at night and sleep all day. He jumped to his feet to rush to the door to greet his father but stopped when his hand was on the knob.

"Unhand me, Potter."

"Stop being so stubborn, Severus. You need help."

"I can help myself, you infernal child."

"I am not a child, you dunce. I'm forty years old."

"And I'm almost sixty one, Potter. I have learned by now how to care for myself."

"It wouldn't hurt to let  _someone_  take care of you for a change."

Albus was intrigued. Due to the fact that he was pretending to be dead, Snape had never once come to their home. They always visited Snape in his home in Muggle London. Before the children had begun attending Hogwarts, they had visited Snape at least once a week, sometimes once every other week during busy times. Now, they only saw him during holidays. They had all been a bit excited when Ginny announced at dinner that they would be visiting Snape the following day. He was no easy man to get along with, most people said, but as the Potter children had all grown up being exposed to the man, they found his abrasive personality quite charming. The fact that Snape was here would probably have been exciting, had it not been so strange.

Concerned, Albus turned the doorknob carefully, hoping not to make any noise as he pushed it open. It was then that he was met with the sight that explained the few seconds of silence that had fallen before he even went to open the door. Green eyes grew impossibly wide as he just stared at the two men who were paused in the middle of the hallway kissing. Their bodies were pressed close together with Harry's hands holding onto Snape's arms while Snape's hands gently caressed Harry's face, lips moving tenderly against each other. It was a moment more intimate than the countless times the curious Potter children had walked in on Harry and Ginny having sex. It was full of more love and passion than anything Albus had witnessed between the married Potters. It was a moment so fragile that the men hardly dared move and Albus barely let himself breathe for fear of disrupting them.

His mind raced as he watched them relax into each other. Faces expressed complete bliss, a needy whimper escaping Harry's throat against his will then a quiet groan following not long after. Albus swallowed hard as he watched Snape's hands slide down from his father's face, over his shoulders, moving to surround his father and hold him closer. Following his lead, Harry's arms moved to wrap around the taller man's neck, pressing them more firmly against each other. There was an intensity, and desperation, about them that Albus had never seen in anyone before. There was no need beyond what they were doing, as though the simple act of kissing was more than enough, that they wouldn't dare ask for more than that. Wasn't sex always on men's minds? All Albus knew were anxious teenagers, sometimes even adults, ripping at each other's clothes, wanting more, more, more. Harry and Snape, though, treasured this secret kiss. Albus could feel it.

It took him a few minutes to remember that this whole thing was very, very wrong. Harry was married to his mother, Ginny. Snape was his godfather! His parents loved each other very much. Didn't they? His gut twisted and he swallowed hard. Should he close the door then pretend he had never seen anything or should he interrupt and say something? Instead, he stood, frozen, just staring at them.

"We…Oh Merlin, Severus…We can't do this," Harry mumbled, pulling back slightly.

Snape stiffened, scowled, and shoved Harry away from him. "Of course not. It isn't as though you have ever been unfaithful to Miss Weasley."

"Mrs. Potter now, which you know," Harry snapped. "And that was…it's been a while. Doesn't make it okay since we…before."

"Take me home, Mr. Potter," Snape commanded coolly.

"It's Harry," he sighed impatiently.

"You're only Harry when I'm balls deep in your arse, boy," Snape sneered.

Harry's eyes flashed dangerously as he reached forward to tightly grab onto Snape's arm. "Don't turn into a bloody git on me now."

"I am who I've always been, Potter," Snape snarled.

"Don't act so hurt over this. I'm married to Ginny. I can't keep just…"

"I don't want to hear your excuses. You should have never brought me here."

"Where else was I supposed to take you?" Harry hissed. "You'll be safe here."

"As you apprehended my attackers, Potter, I'm more than positive I'll be more than fine in the comfort of my own home," Snape said. "If you're so concerned about your wife, then leave me be."

"I love you, you bastard," Harry hissed.

"And what exactly does your  _love_  mean?" Snape snapped.

Furiously, Harry reared his arm back but Snape caught his fist right before the punch landed, though the force of it caused them both to stumble slightly until Harry fell back against the wall with Snape following to pin him there. Albus couldn't see much for a few minutes, though he knew they were kissing again, fervently now. He saw the way his father's hands grasped Snape's arms, noticing the writhing of their bodies. It made him uncomfortable but, as he shifted behind the door, prepared to turn away, Snape lowered his head to Harry's neck, sucking violently. Harry was caught between moaning then hissing at him to stop and how he "better not leave a mark, you wanker!"

But Snape had left a mark. By the time Snape let him go, Albus could see the large purplish red mark on the side of his neck. Then they exchanged a few more heated, whispered words that Albus couldn't fully hear. After that, Harry stormed off and returned with an old slipper telling Snape that it would activate in three minutes. Albus watched his father storm off to his bedroom and slam the door. He remained in the doorway a few more minutes as Snape glared down at their doorway, clutching the slipper in his hand. There was a great deal of rage in his expression, but Albus could have sworn that just beyond that there was longing, pain, and terror that made him ache just to see. After three minutes, the Portkey and Snape were gone, leaving Albus to sit in the library until sunrise, mind reeling over everything he had seen.

The visit with Snape the next day had been strange. Albus had never noticed the sexual tension between the two until then. He barely spoke to anyone at all, only observing. When it was time to go back to Hogwarts, Albus found himself thinking of the event a great deal. The theory that he could possibly be Snape's child came during a dream one night. The thought plagued him until he caved and began to do research. He spent a lot of time in the library, looking through books on male pregnancy, and the possibility of hiding a pregnancy, looking through old newspapers, anything he could get his hands on that would even hint at the truth.

Ginny Potter appeared to be pregnant in the pictures, Albus saw, but the photos that accompanied the pregnancy announcement, both Harry and Ginny seemed to be sporting a little extra weight that seemed to mysteriously disappear right after. No one else seemed to pick up on that fact. Harry always conveniently fell ill around the time, though most people put it off as Harry being romantic, wanting to keep a desk job throughout Ginny's pregnancies so that he would be available whenever she needed him. All of the births took place in the Potter residence instead of at St. Mungo's and no known mediwizards were present, though there was always speculation as to who had aided in the birthing process. Harry always took a short leave from work in the days before then the weeks following the birth. Supposedly, to support his wife in the last leg of things but Albus had other ideas. Wasn't it possible that Harry had been pregnant at the time and hiding it?

Looking at Lily, there was no denying she was Ginny's daughter. James was another matter. His eyes were black. The family liked to say that maybe he had gotten them from somewhere in the Potter or Prewett family genes, a recessive trait that came around to the oldest Potter child. Looking at pictures, though, Albus could see how James could be Snape's child. He was tall and lanky, like Snape was. They had the same eyes, chin, and ears. It wasn't obvious enough for anyone to guess right off the bat. James looked like a Potter, certainly, with more features that could resemble Snape than Ginny.

Then there was he, himself. Everyone had told him he looked just like his father and grandfather. It was hard to find anything that could be related to Ginny or Snape though, in the end, Albus decided that he had Snape's ears just like James as well as the man's long, dexterous fingers. By the end of the school year, there was no doubt in Albus's mind that he and James were the sons of Harry Potter and Severus Snape.

He wasn't sure what to think when they got home. Albus spent more time than usual keeping to himself those first two days. On the third day, when it was time to go and visit Snape, Albus wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing. The day started with Ginny bringing home a new dress for Lily to wear, spending the time painting her nails, doing her hair, and various other mother-daughter bonding activities. It was one more thing that Albus calculated in his head. Ginny always had been closer to Lily. She treated them all like her children but Lily was special. There was more love in her eyes for Lily, more pride. Always more gifts, more one on one time, more letters, more everything. Not enough to be obvious but, to someone who was looking, it was there. Sometimes, when Ginny brought home things for Lily, Albus and James would get upset then Ginny would remind them that Lily was the youngest and they always got many gifts when they were younger. Albus didn't feel any resentment now. How could he fault her for paying more care to the only child she had raised that was her own blood?

"Hey, Mum! What did you get me?" James asked as he hopped off the last step of the staircase.

"Don't even start this again," Ginny said impatiently. "I bought you new dress robes last year that you never even wore for a Yule Ball you didn't attend."

"See? I never even got good use out of it," James grinned, kissing his mother on the cheek.

Step mother. Adoptive mother. Surrogate mother. Whatever she was.  _Mother_  couldn't be so wrong on its own, could it? She had raised them, hadn't she?

"Go brush your hair," Ginny laughed.

"You'll brush Lily's but you won't brush mine?" James pouted.

"Act like a grown up, won't you? You'll be seventeen in less than a month," Ginny said, elbowing him.

"C'mon. If I'm not old enough to go to the Wanton Kingdom concert, I can't be old enough to act like a grown up, now can I?" James asked innocently.

"Jamie," Ginny said warningly.

James raised his hands in surrender and backed away. "Sorry, Mum. Hey, Al! Still being an arse?"

"James! Do not use that language," Ginny scolded.

"I'm not an arse," Albus replied.

"Albus Severus, don't you dare!" Ginny exclaimed.

"What's going on in here?" Harry's voice demanded tiredly as he walked downstairs.

"Jamie and Al are using bad words," Lily giggled.

"And not listening to their mother," Ginny muttered.

Harry frowned. "Boys…"

"Sorry, Dad! We were just messing around," James said, throwing his arm around Albus's shoulder. "Right, Al?"

Harry shot them a hard look, warning them to behave. "Are we ready?"

"Almost," Ginny said. "Is Snape sure he's alright with having company?"

"Isn't he always?" James grinned.

"Did something happen?" Albus asked with a frown.

Harry looked troubled. "He's better now. Only he had an accident a few weeks ago. He's just now fully recovered."

"Damn," James muttered, earning him a glare from Harry and a pop against the side of the head from Ginny. "Sorry. What happened?"

Rubbing his head, Harry sighed heavily. "Well, Neville was bringing Severus some of the new plants he had been growing all year, taking them down to the lab while he was working on a new potion. He spent so much time muttering about Neville's incompetence and how he had never been good at Potions that I don't know exactly how it happened but he accidentally dropped one of the plants into the potion, causing it to blow up. Neville didn't sustain many injuries, because Severus shoved him out of the way, but we had to take care of him for a while."

"I don't understand why he doesn't use Polyjuice, glamours or something then go to St. Mungo's," James muttered.

"He was probably too weak to keep up glamours. It would use a lot of concentrated magic to hold up the amount he would need to go undetected as himself. The Polyjuice would only work if he had some on hand and, even then, depending on the amount of time he would need to stay in St. Mungo's…" Albus explained.

"Alright, enough smarty-pants talk," James laughed. "Can't have been very safe, though."

"We did what we could. Mr. Malfoy helped a little bit when we let him know," Harry shrugged. "He seems fine now, though. We had drinks last night and he was up to his usual snarky self."

Albus noticed the long look Ginny gave his dad. Suspicion, jealousy, and irritation were all present in her bright brown eyes. When she realized Albus had noticed, she flushed and looked away, causing him to quickly turn his head. Damn it. He didn't need anyone to realize how closely he was watching them, he was already acting strangely enough to them.

"You doing alright, Al?" Harry asked concerned.

Exhibit A, Albus thought to himself. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just…worried about Snape and all."

The older wizard didn't look as though he fully believed his son. Albus half expected his father to point out that he had been acting odd since coming home or saying they would have a talk later. Eventually, Harry just nodded, letting Albus relax somewhat.

It took an hour longer than expected to be ready to go to Snape's house. The time everyone else was ready, someone decided they weren't quite done yet. Then they had to return home twice to get something they had forgotten. Finally, they were able to use a Portkey to arrive at their destination inside of the Leaky Cauldron where Harry had a car parked outside. It was always a hassle getting there, considering it was not connected to the floo network as well as Snape being paranoid about the Department of Magical Transportation easily tracking the comings and goings of the Potters to Snape's house. He said it was dangerous enough to use the magic he did in his house. So they always used a Portkey to get to the Leaky Cauldron, especially since Lily didn't take too well to Apparating, then drove the car to Snape's house.

It was a modest place; one story, very old, the yard always neat, though, on the whole, looking as though it was abandoned. Lily squealed happily when they parked behind Snape's car and was the first to jump out then run to the front door, banging loudly. Harry sighed heavily, smiling in amusement as he watched her. "I bet he's still lecturing her by the time we get in there," James piped up from the backseat as he opened his door. "What say ya, Al?"

"I bet he'll just be finishing," Albus played along.

It was the same every time. Lily would run up with too much enthusiasm, causing Snape to scold her for being too loud and causing too much ruckus, how, despite her parentage, she should at least pretend to act like a lady. As they watched, James and Albus would bet on the state of the lecture the time they arrived. It wasn't always the same. Sometimes James won, sometimes Albus won, and, though their parents highly discouraged actual gambling, they did always have something to give, be it actual money, an owed favor, candy, or any number of small things.

"I bet he's got her in his lap, reading her a fairytale," Harry joked as he followed his family out of the car.

"I bet he's teaching her how to waltz," Ginny laughed.

"There's no need to be creepy," James shuddered.

To their surprise, they didn't hear any fussing as they approached the house. The door was still open so Harry led the way inside. Looks of alarm spread across the Potters' faces when they heard Lily's whimpering. Harry ran towards the living room, the others on his tail. Snape sat in his usual arm chair, looking grim as he hastily buttoned up a white shirt. Lily sat on the couch, tears streaming down her face, hiccupping as she struggled to stop crying. Albus was confused for a minute until he got a good look at the bare skin of Snape's chest. The man was normally covered up to right under his chin so they had only caught a glimpse of his scars a few times. Then, normally, that was only the scar where his Dark Mark was and the one on his neck from the snake bite that almost killed him.

All along the left side of his neck and across the front were the twisted, harsh white lines of the snake bite. That wasn't all. The flesh of his left side all the way to near the middle of his stomach looked burned, twisted, and almost as though the flesh had been melted. It was enough to upset Albus's stomach. There was very tender, pink flesh just below his right collarbone that looked fresh and must have been from the most recent accident. Aside from those bigger ones, there were still several smaller scars decorating his upper body. James and Albus stood side by side, staring as Snape did his best to cover them up, though his hands were shaking more than normal and the left was heavily bandaged. If this was completely better, then Albus hated to see what it had looked like after it first happened. Ginny rushed to the couch beside Lily to pull her daughter into her arms while Harry slowly walked over to Snape, kneeling down before him and shoving his hands aside, carefully buttoning up the shirt himself despite Snape's glowering.

The move was so intimate that Albus could barely stand to look at it. He was still confused about his thoughts and feelings concerning the night he caught them kissing but, to act this way in front of his mother! Maybe the actions themselves couldn't be deemed romantic or sexual, but there was something about the way they were when they were so close, the way they looked at each other, their conversation became private with their whispers, every delicate caress spoke volumes of their adoration and sent enough heat through the room for everyone to feel the sexual tension. Maybe not everyone. Albus hadn't noticed before  _that night_  but it was all he could think about now. To him, just this felt as though they were full out having sex in front of them!

He wasn't the only one to notice. He saw the way Ginny glanced at them, visibly becoming incredibly uncomfortable as she tried to calm Lily down. Lily continued sniffling, wiping the tears from her eyes and catching her breath. James muttered sarcastically under his breath about how Roxanne thought  _her_  latest Quidditch injury was bad.

"I don't need you, Potter," Snape muttered, shifting and straightening himself once Harry was done. Both men seemed reluctant as Harry stood up and stepped back.

Albus noted how the man said he didn't need him, as opposed to needing his help. He wanted to say something, to call them out on their deceit, draw attention to their little secrets. Instead, he bit the inside of his mouth to keep from talking. This wasn't exactly a normal, everyday situation.

At school, it had been easier to look at this with a more logical mind. Being here with his family was what brought the onslaught of emotion. Ginny, who hadn't even given birth to him or James, had stood by Harry though he was pregnant with someone else's child. Said man, while a godfather they all adored, had never been a father to them. Why not? They were his children. Didn't they matter? And how could Harry cheat on a wife so loyal, so good to him and his children? Did Snape know about them? He must, surely. Or had Harry kept this secret from him, too?

He knew. Albus had a gut feeling that he knew.

"They do remember how to sit, do they not?" Snape asked, eying the boys critically.

Albus raised an eyebrow. "Do you get off on being a git or what?"

He hadn't even known the words had actually slipped out of his mouth as opposed to being words he only daydreamed of spitting out venomously. Everyone stared at him in shock. It wasn't like Albus to be this way. If anyone had any sarcastic or mean remarks, it was normally James or Lily. Albus was the quiet one, the patient one, the kind one. Even he had his days, though.

"Albus Severus, what is going on with you lately?" Ginny exclaimed.

"Apologize!" Harry demanded.

"That's quite alright," Snape said, studying Albus closely with those cold black eyes. "I have dealt with disrespectful dimwits a great deal in my life. I still suffer your presence more often than I care to, Potter."

Harry's green eyes narrowed at Snape, who didn't even bother looking at him. The two of them getting into it was nothing new to this family. James just rolled his eyes then walked across the room to sit on the other side of Lily, nudging her to scoot over and make more room for him. Albus stared at Snape, who stared back at him while Harry glowered at the older wizard.

"I guess you have a point, Al," Harry muttered, stepping away slowly to sit on the chair closer to the couch than to Snape.

"Harry!" Ginny hissed.

"Dad, Al, Snape…Play nice, now," James laughed.

No one said anything. Ginny would later comment under her breath that it was at least an improvement. Out of pure stubbornness, Snape and Harry refused to make amends, letting the room remain in awkward silence for several long minutes. Only when it became unbearable did James start up another half hearted attempt at conversation about the American sport of Quodpot and how he and cousins Fred, Roxanne, Dominique, and Hugo all tried playing it at Uncle George and Aunt Angelina's house the day before.

"Why didn't you let me know? I wanted to play!" Lily exclaimed.

"James, we've talked about this," sighed Ginny. "It's not very safe."

"Quidditch isn't very safe either, yet we all play that. Except for Al, of course," James said matter-of-factly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Albus asked.

"Nothing," James shrugged. "Only the truth. You're not athletic like the rest of us."

Ginny looked pointedly away as Harry shot Snape a meaningful look and said, "No, he's not." Snape held his gaze and gave a slow nod. Albus was the only one who seemed to notice. James and Lily had to be slow not to see it, didn't they? Had things always been like this? Albus wracked his brain, looking through old memories, wondering if there was anything there that he should have picked up on but hadn't. Nothing was really coming to mind, though.

"There is nothing wrong with being intellectually inclined," Snape said smugly. " _Some_  people in this world actually prefer someone with more than half a brain in their head."

"You can't survive with only half a brain, can you?" James asked.

"You obviously do," Lily giggled.

James proceeded to chase Lily around the living room until they came close to knocking over one of Snape's bookcases, earning them a good scolding from the man before they settled back down. Ginny, James, and Lily all began a very lively discussion about Quidditch with input from Harry and Snape only once in a while. Harry seemed content to watch them mess around with a smile, pausing only to share long looks with Snape or to cast concerned glances Albus's way. The boy in question leaned back against the wall where he had the best access to watch everyone. If there had been any doubts in his theory before, they were all but gone now.

What was more disturbing than anything was the charged sexual chemistry still apparent between the two men. Maybe it was the fact that Albus was now certain they had been lovers at one point that made it all so clear but he could just feel it. There was something alive between them that seemed to heat up every time their eyes met. They looked at each other as though no one else existed. The yearning that was so clear in their eyes was enough to make Albus's heart skip a beat, making his breath catch in his throat. Weren't they a little too old for this? He felt uncomfortable midway through the whole meeting, around the fifth time they exchanged that look.

He wanted to scream at them. Tell them to stop. Beg them to have some decency. They would have thought it a bit insane, though, he was sure.

Albus must have asked himself a thousand times that day how he had never seen it before. He also couldn't help but wonder how Ginny could stand this. This was all new to him and he didn't know whether to scream or cry. She was a stronger woman than this, to stay with a man who cheated on her, who obviously wanted to be elsewhere.

It was frustrating because the whole situation made no sense. Why were his parents together? Why weren't Harry and Snape together? Why live a lie this way? Even if Snape wanted to let everyone believe he was dead, was that a reason for Harry to marry some girl he obviously didn't love?

It was infuriating because he had been lied to. His parents, all of them, had lied to them all. They were still keeping this secret. Not only that but the fact that his own flesh and blood father, Snape, wasn't an active parent at all. Why not? Were they not worth it? Weren't kids supposed to be everything to their parents? More important than their own selfish needs and desires?

It was painful because these people he had trusted and loved lied to him. Because his own father, apparently, didn't want him at all. Because his entire life had been a lie and he didn't know what to think or do.

When Ginny announced it was time for them to leave, Albus had to blink tears from his eyes, swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat. Ginny looked ready to ask of his well-being again but Albus quickly shook his head. She didn't say anything, only nodded and rounded up James and Lily, who were arm wrestling while Harry stood to shake Snape's hand then bid him goodbye.

"You coming, Al?" Harry asked as he followed Ginny, James, and Lily to the door. Albus hadn't moved an inch.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," Albus said quietly.

Harry gave him an odd look then sent a questioning gaze to Snape who only nodded. The man seemed reluctant to leave his youngest son but, eventually. made himself move. Albus and Snape remained in their positions until they heard the front door close. He stared at the wall ahead of him, well aware of the moment black eyes began to bore into him.

"You've been moodier than a teenage girl all day," Snape commented smoothly.

"Bugger off," Albus mumbled, kicking at the floor. Several more minutes of silence passed between them before he straightened out his brain enough to speak again. He cleared his throat, then reluctantly glanced to Snape. His _father_. "I don't get how…some parents can just…act like they don't even have kids."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "One of your friends, I presume?"

Albus shrugged.

When he looked away again, Snape was still looking at him. He could almost hear the wheels turning in the older wizard's head. "My own parents were of questionable parenting standards. In my many years as the Head of Slytherin House, I saw a great deal of students with mummy and daddy issues. Though I can say I, myself, don't understand the reasons for this treatment, despite my own disdain for the numerous dunderheads that walked into my classroom. I do believe that…if I had children of my own…regardless of how reckless, moronic, or unbearable they were, I would…care for them."

The man seemed so uncomfortable admitting such a thing. Albus wasn't even sure why he was saying the things he was. For a moment, he was angry that Snape would say such a thing when he damn well knew that Albus was his son and that he had hardly been father of the year. As he looked back at the man, though, he was confused. Something in the look in those eyes gave him pause. Snape knew. But Snape also had the idea that Albus knew. Were his words supposed to be reassuring?

"Loathe as I am to give my parents the benefit of the doubt, they were truly the most reprehensible, pathetic excuses for parents I had the misfortune of encountering. But, perhaps, we, as their offspring, are not fully capable of understanding where they might be coming from with their actions," Snape said quietly, looking as though this pained him to admit.

"Do you think they cared for you?" he asked.

"Not for one moment," Snape growled.

"But, despite the fact that you openly despise children, you say you would love your own children?" Albus asked hesitantly.

"Yes. I can say with certainty that any children of mine would hold a very special place in my heart," Snape said quietly.

"The existence of which has always been questionable," Albus offered up as teasingly as he could muster. His tone didn't easily reach any sort of believability, though it at least achieved enough for Snape to understand how he meant the comment.

This was his chance to say something. Snape had to suspect that he knew the truth. Why else would he open up this way? Emotional confessions were hardly his strong suit. Even with this he struggled to remain detached, while being…what? Open enough to convince Albus that he cared? Snape's motives were unclear but there was no mistaking that glint in his eyes.  _Say something_! His mind willed him, but Albus could say nothing on the subject.

"Well, I'll stop bothering you now," Albus said finally.

Snape nodded. "You are welcome here whenever you deem it necessary."

"Thanks. I guess," Albus said. "Erm. Hope you're feeling better?"

"It has been two and a half weeks. It should cause concern if I hadn't noticed any progress in my healing by now," Snape remarked.

"Still hurts then?"

"It is nothing I cannot handle," Snape said. "Off you go. Before they send in a search party."

"Right," Albus said, quickly looking to the door. He was surprised they hadn't honked at him. They hadn't left, had they? He had been in here much longer than he had intended. "Bye."

The discussion with Snape had dissipated some of his anger though he had a feeling it wasn't quite dead yet. In all actuality, he was more confused than ever as he left Snape's house then headed out to the car where Harry and Ginny were fussing at James and Lily to calm down. This situation was too big, too complicated for him to work out on his own. Before too long, he was going to have to talk to someone about it.


	2. Come By It Honestly

Ginny and Lily would be visiting Percy's wife, Audrey, their daughters Lucy and Molly for the day. Harry and Albus were also due to be gone a good bit of it as well, doing the remaining shopping they needed for James's upcoming birthday party. That left the sixteen year old to his own devices. He hadn't lied to his parents when he said Teddy would be visiting. Only they didn't need to know what James and Teddy would be doing.

James tossed his head from side to side, hoping to get his shaggy, unruly hair out of his eyes as Teddy crossed the room to stand in the middle where James had a perfect view of him. The metamorphmagus grinned as he reached down to pull up his shirt. His thinner form looked muscular when revealed, though that was only because of the tricks Teddy was so clever at pulling, always making himself into an Adonis when he stripped. James laughed as Teddy tossed the shirt aside, upper body now twice as thick as the one he had been cuddled against just minutes ago. He was tan, bulky, and even a few inches taller. The curly teal hair he enjoyed playing with had become slick and blond, cobalt eyes now baby blue. James said nothing of his preference for the other look, only grinning and folding his arms over his chest, letting Teddy play his game. The older wizard grinned then unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, kicking them off, letting scarily muscled thighs come into view.

Teddy cleared his throat then asked in a deep voice "Like what you see?" As he spoke, he placed his hands on his hips, grinned broadly, letting his pecs move and dance.

He cracked up laughing. "Fuck, Ted. That's great. But you know how I prefer my men."

"With a pussy?" Teddy suggested with a sly smile.

James scoffed. "You should know better by now," he said, rolling over onto his hands and knees, crawling across the bed to sit at the edge.

"Hmm. Like this?" Teddy guessed, morphing his body again. The muscles were toned down drastically, though were still there. His golden tan lightened several shades, hair lengthened slightly, curling up, and became the shocking teal that was James's favorite color of the moment. Baby blues darkened into the cobalt that the younger man found mesmerizing then his body shortened only a few inches until it was what James liked to refer to as the perfect kissing height. His pants didn't seem so tight on him now, though James could still tell he was halfway erect from their earlier fooling around.

"Much better," James purred as Teddy turned around, backing up to give him access to his firm buttocks. The brunette grinned, reaching out to give his boyfriend's backside a squeeze. Teddy chuckled, letting the boy grasp his hips then pull him back more. Considering James was at school most of the year then when he was home, there were normally too many adults around to do much so the pair liked making the most of days like these. The younger wizard certainly had plenty in mind as he snaked his arms around Teddy's waist, palming the growing bulge between his legs while pressing careful open mouthed kisses to his lower back, then up his spine. The laugh caught in Teddy's throat then melted into a long moan. James grinned, using his free hand the best he could to unbutton, unzip, and shove down his trousers so that his own arousal was only covered by his boxers, pressing forward to rub his hardness against the back of the metamorphmagus's leg.

"I'm ready," James muttered against Teddy's back while slipping his hand beneath the waistband of his pants, almost groaning along with his lover as he finally wrapped his fingers around the hot length.

"R-ready?" Teddy asked shakily, letting himself be pulled down onto the bed. James shifted around to accommodate his lover then began pulling down his lover's pants. When the material was gone, he ran his hand up lightly haired thighs, fondling heavy balls then caressing the smooth flesh of the erection laying against the other's flat stomach.

"Ready for more," James promised, grinning as he crawled around to straddle Teddy's legs, resting his arms on either side of his hips, pressing his face down close to his lover's hardness, black eyes lifting up to meet lust filled eyes steadily changing from cobalt to a deep, dark purple. Slowly, he ran his tongue all up the underside of his cock, sucking the head into his mouth for a few moments when he reached it then swirling it all around it before releasing. "Want you to fuck me. Kay?"

"Ooh," Teddy moaned. "Got it. Yeah. You…you sure?"

"Positive," James promised.

They had been together for less than a year and barely had the chance to do much of anything. It had been only a year ago when James confided in Teddy about sexuality. It was shortly after his sixteenth birthday that he confessed his feelings for the boy he had known his whole life. Then it was two weeks before school that he worked up the courage to kiss him and it took another week for Teddy to lose all pretense of control and kissed him back. They managed to fool around a little bit before James had to leave but not enough for the teenager. They wrote letters all year. The first few months were shaky as Teddy was still in a relationship with Victoire Weasley but the connection the two had discovered was not easily broken. Any doubts Teddy had been having were easily disputed by James during the Christmas holidays when the pair spent as much time as possible snogging the daylights out of each other. When Teddy had dinner with the Potters, he and James would sneak up to his bedroom under the pretense of two best friends wanting to catch up, which wasn't too far from the truth. Now and then, James would sneak over to the flat Teddy shared with Victoire whenever she was hanging out with her friends or her family. Once she nearly walked in on them in the middle of their heavy petting but they, at least, still had their trousers on and managed to make Victoire believe they were wrestling. They had done it a lot when they were younger, after all.

Going back to school after that had been hellish. He had missed Teddy like crazy, more than he ever had. They had only been home for the summer holidays a week but James had wanted to see Teddy immediately. The week had gone by too slowly for him but it had been enough time to assure him of what he wanted. He wanted to be with Teddy in that way. Wanted to completely belong to the man he loved. More than that, he was a teenage boy and horny as hell! Abstaining from sex when he had so many offers from his classmates at Hogwarts had been hard but he had been determined to wait for Teddy. Not that he didn't mess around with his many offers. If Teddy was still shagging Victoire, he couldn't blame James for just snogging Abby Longbottom or letting her sister Becky go down on him. They were mostly girls anyway but for one bloke, Tripp Wood, he gave a hand job to in the showers after Quidditch practice one afternoon. But going all the way…well, he wanted that with Teddy and now that he had the man here with him, James wasn't letting him go until he got what he wanted. What he  _needed_. Teddy couldn't deny him this.

James would make sure he couldn't even think to reject him. Wrapping his hand around his lover's cock, he took it in his mouth, eagerly sucking it in as far as he could. It had been months since he had last done this and, even then, he hadn't had the proper practice to deep throat. When the head of Teddy's cock hit, his gag reflex kicked in, causing him to cough and gasp, pulling off for a second. Teddy frowned in concern, face twisting up in concentration. Alarmed by the realization of what he wanted to do, James slapped his hip. "Don't," he warned as Teddy tried to make his dick smaller. "I can take it."

"Are you…?"

He never got to finish his question. James had already taken him back into his mouth. For a few minutes, he was careful not to take it in too far, stroking with his hand what he couldn't swallow. Loud moans broke free from Teddy's throat. The twenty three year old reaching down to grasp the black hair of his lover, stroking the head that moved so enthusiastically. After a while, James was ready to try again, bracing himself before slowly pressing down more, breathing evenly through his nose, struggling against the urge to pull away or cough. Tears stung his eyes as he moved down more, the feeling was very uncomfortable and on the verge of painful. He worked his throat muscles as best he could, trying to relax around the length, but, in the end, he couldn't fully do it. Pulling away, he focused on catching his breath while pumping Teddy's cock then went back to sucking on it.

"Jame…baby, I'm close," Teddy gasped after a while.

In his focus on performing a great blowjob, James had forgotten about his wish to fuck until now. He quickly removed his mouth then crawled further up Teddy's body to reach over to his bedside drawer. "I have lube in here somewhere," he muttered, pushing aside the various Quidditch magazines and candy boxes that hid his toys.

"You do?" Teddy teased breathlessly, poking the younger wizard's sides. James shivered in response, shoving his dildo aside, having to stretch a bit more to grab onto the phial of lubricant he had purchased when in Diagon Alley with Fred a couple of days ago.

Grinning successfully, James could only bask in the thrill and promise of sex for a few seconds before his bedroom door burst open. "Hey, James! We need to…What the fuck?"

"Oh shite," Teddy hissed, grabbing the boy who was on top of him and shifting around frantic to pull the sheets, or at least a pillow, over his exposed cock.

"Bloody hell!" James cried in panic, hopping around the bed to grab at his clothes, tossing the lube to the mattress. Heat rose to his face as his pulse pounded furiously. His mind was racing far too fast for him to actually understand anything that was running through it. "What are you doing home?"

"What are you doing? With…Teddy?"

"Al…I can explain. I just," Teddy said quickly.

"Explain what?" Albus exclaimed. "What about Vicky?"

"Where's Dad?" James demanded, yanking on his trousers, realizing when he pulled them halfway up that they were backwards. "Bugger!"

"Snape's," Albus spat bitterly. "We finished early and he wanted to see Snape. I asked him to drop me off here because I wanted to talk to you."

"We can talk later," James snapped.

"Jame, I don't think…" Teddy began as calmly as he could.

"Damn right, you don't think. You can't be thinking if you're…But he's…Were you…?" Albus asked, looking as though his brain was starting to malfunction. His arms motioned wildly in no particular fashion, shaking his head, mouth moving at times when no sound came out.

"Al, just…Please listen. Just…don't tell anyone. We just…It's not…" Teddy was trying to explain.

"Get out, Ted," Albus said hoarsely, looking on the verge of a panic attack. "You need to leave."

"Al, stop it!" James exclaimed. "He doesn't have to go."

"You think Dad will still want him here if he knew this?" Albus snapped. To James's horror, there were tears in his younger brother's eyes.

"You can't tell Dad!" James said quickly. "Just…hear us out, okay? We just…calm down, right? And you'll listen?"

"Listen to what? I didn't even know you were gay!" Albus said. "And…What about Vic? Our  _cousin?_  Did you even think about her? You could be putting her through the same shite as Mum…"

James was confused. "What? Mum? The bloody hell are you talking about, Al?"

 

* * *

 

 

After dropping Albus off at the house, Harry eagerly drove to Snape's. Only by the time he got there, he wasn't feeling so excited, more like dreading facing the man. These were the same feelings that assaulted him every time he came to see the man alone. As always, there was that happiness, a powerful desire to see the man he had loved for half of his life now. Then there was the misery, the urge to run far away, fleeing the pain before it could hit. Visiting Snape made Harry feel masochistic. They never had, and never could be, together in any real way. It had been almost a decade since they had last touched. Every time he saw the older wizard, he questioned how he could survive another day without him. Every day of his life, he felt the absence, the denial of something he needed so badly.

Harry sighed heavily as he turned off his car then leaned back in his seat. He remembered just as if it was yesterday how it all happened. After the final battle, he and his friends had returned to the Shrieking Shack to retrieve the man's body only for Hermione to realize he still had a pulse. In a panic, they fought to save the potions master's life, summoning anti-venom from the castle then allowing Hermione to figure out which one was appropriate for Snape's wound. They tried to bring him to the castle but Snape roused before then and commanded them not to. Let him play dead, he had pleaded. So Harry did the only thing he could. He owed this man his life. For weeks, Snape remained hidden in Grimmauld Place with only Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Ginny knowing he had survived. When they managed to cure Snape on their own, they tried to reason with him, to assure him that the world knew he was innocent.

But Snape didn't want that. Hadn't he been through enough without being badgered by everyone? How were they supposed to know, anyway, that his return from the dead wouldn't turn public view against him? They were happy to buy his heroic tale when it was a tragedy that had ended in his death. He still bore the Dark Mark, still had many sins to pay for, and he was certain that the people would make him pay. Even if they didn't, there wasn't a life he wanted in that world anymore. Peace was all Snape wanted, something he felt he could only find in a world where no one knew him. Under the name of Alexander Prince, he lived among Muggles with a part time job studying and advancing Muggle medicine while running an owl order Potions business from his home. Harry had pulled many strings to set Snape up with a relatively normal, easy lifestyle. The Ministry of Magic left alone the private bloke that Harry Potter had such a fondness for. Snape was still wary of performing too much magic around his home unless necessary, sure to cut off any forms of magical transportation all around the area as a precaution.

The man was still cruel but Harry had felt as though he owed him. He visited now and then to be sure Snape was holding up well on his own. To his surprise, Snape never really discouraged his visits. In true Snape fashion, he was a royal prat, which Harry gritted his teeth and dealt with for a few months. It was normal. They were all suffering after the war. Eventually, though, Harry finally snapped. They fought and he left. In the mean time, he attended too many meetings with a magical psychiatrist who had diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder. He and Ginny broke up then got back together five times. Life, post war, was not as great as Harry had hoped. But what could anyone expect in the recovery period?

It was only when he was kicked out of Auror training and told to attend some anger management classes before reapplying that really made the difference. It had been almost a year since he had seen Snape by this point. To this day, Harry wasn't sure what possessed him to leave the training facilities and head straight to Snape's house. All he knew was that he had been so furious as he stormed out of the training room and the next he was staring into the scowling face of Severus Snape.

"What on earth are you doing here? Not coming to arrest me, are you?" Snape asked dryly.

"I need a drink," Harry muttered.

"Go to a bar."

"Let me in, you git."

For some reason, Snape did. They drank a lot. Never said a word other than the greetings outside of the house. It was a very awkward silence but Harry's mind was buzzing too much to care. All he could do was think of how much his life was falling apart. This wasn't how it was supposed to be once Voldemort was gone. He was supposed to be happy, right? Didn't he deserve to be happy? At some point, he passed out. When he woke up, he was on the couch, tangled in a very comfortable blanket that smelled of musk, left in an empty house with nothing but a phial of what he eventually discovered was a hangover potion on the coffee table. Snape was at work, Harry eventually decided, and quickly left before the man could come home.

Things had been simpler back then, Harry mused. Those days, before he had fallen irrevocably in love with the stoic man. The time when he could bear to be near his intimidating ex-professor without feeling as though his heart was shattering into a million pieces. Those were the years spent suffering the worst of nightmares, trying to piece his life together while finding himself incapable of fully moving on from the horrors of that war. He had still been so angry with himself and with the world, so bitter still from all of the loss he had suffered in his young life. Did he miss the instability? No. The alcoholism had provided new pain, a new obstacle in life, one he was unwilling to conquer. The press hounded him like a dog, spinning tales of self destruction that were always more glamorous than real life, as well as being infinitely more dramatic and exaggerated. Ginny stood by his side but was never afraid to stand up to him when he was being hellish. She was his rock and he needed her. He loved her. So when he was twenty, he proposed and, within months, Molly Weasley had planned the whole thing. And all that time, through all he went through in life, he always visited with Snape once a month, then twice a month, and several times a week by the time the wedding rolled around.

It was like a trap, falling in love with Snape. Because, with how crazy life was, with everything else he had on his mind, it wasn't as though he spared many thoughts for his growing civility with the dead man.

He groaned as the memories flashed through his head, rubbing his hands over his face roughly so that his glasses were shoved all the way up into his hair. Palms pressed deeply into his closed eyes, causing spots of orange and red to appear in the blackness. He really should back out of the driveway and leave. He could spend the rest of the day with Teddy, James, and Albus while Ginny and Lily had their girl's day. Remembering all of this was the last thing he should be doing but thinking was all he could do now. Because Harry knew what Snape wanted. He had seen it coming for weeks. Now that Snape had requested his presence, Harry was sure he knew what it was. Some elaborate seduction or declaration of feelings that happened so rarely but were the highlights of their tragic relationship. The last time this had happened, four years ago, Harry had been able to turn him down. It had torn his very soul to shreds to do so but he had retained the strength needed to turn away, to remain faithful to the woman who had been so good to him and refusing to let himself fall into the trappings of a man who would never truly belong to him.

It would be tempting though. Harry knew that. It took every ounce of his strength to stay away. He was hardly perfect. That day during the Christmas holidays had proven that. Sure, he had stopped the encounter before he could drag the man into the nearest guest room. Sometimes his control broke long enough to enjoy secret kisses in the dead of night, clinging to the body he longed to worship in a manner far too intimate for a married man. Maybe he would let Snape kiss him. Hell, maybe he'd kiss Snape. But he shouldn't think like that. Shouldn't hope for that. All he could do was try his damnedest to survive this.

But it was so hard. Because all he could remember was the first time.

He had been twenty three at the time. The problems between Ginny and himself had become so bad that they had separated. The  _Daily Prophet_ ,  _Witch Weekly_ , and almost every 'news' source, aside from the  _Quibbler,_  had something to say about the dissolution of what they had believed to be the golden marriage. They brought up anger issues a lot, which was actually true. Problems with alcohol abuse, also true. Drug abuse, not true. Cheating on both ends, love children, domestic violence. There was even one wild story that the distraught Harry Potter had discovered that his beloved wife had secretly been the lover of a Death Eater thus had aided that side of the war while seemingly standing beside her family, defending all that was good and just in the world. They had been fighting too much and, while Grimmauld Place had some peace now that the two weren't screaming at each other constantly, the house was lonely with only Kreacher for company.

As usual, Harry found himself in Snape's company. After the years spent coming here, the silences between them were no longer so tense. With most people, there was always that need to fill the quietness, this pressure to perform, to be entertaining. That wasn't to say they never talked. Normally, when they did open their mouths, they argued but they had both been pleasantly surprised to learn that they could actually enjoy a civil conversation between them now and then. That night Harry just needed to think, to get away from the stifling atmosphere in Grimmauld Place, away from Kreacher's nosiness and his mumblings. Snape always kept very good liquor anyway.

Snape had been sitting in his usual chair while Harry had lain out on the floor in front of the fireplace. The older man found it strange but the carpet was soft and it was nice to stretch out this way. Green eyes stared at the ceiling, though he barely saw it at all, as he became lost in his own thoughts. Only when he finished his first glass of firewhiskey did he glance to Snape, prepared to sit up and pour another. He blinked in surprise to find that Snape was staring at him, a look of such intensity in his black eyes that his pulse began to race. Irritation set in, half expecting Snape to yell at him at any second for no reason at all, the younger wizard preparing to jump to his own defense.

It took a moment for Snape to realize he'd been caught. An ugly flush stained his sallow cheeks, black eyes darting away for a second before returning to Harry. The muscles in his face looked tense, guarded, but that heat remained in his gaze, causing his stomach to knot. Swallowing hard, Harry slowly sat up and set his glass down on the floor. "What?"

The man merely raised a questioning brow.

"You've been staring at me," he huffed impatiently.

"I'm waiting for you to be done with your whining so I might have some peace," Snape replied smoothly.

"I'm not even doing anything!" Harry snapped.

"You're moping."

"I'm drinking. Bloody hell, I apologize if that's so annoying!"

"You're agonizing over some foolish bint who can't be bothered to attempt making a marriage work," Snape growled. "All she desired of you was your fame and fortune so now that she has that, what does she need you for?"

" _What_?" Harry asked. At first, he was too stunned to be properly angry, though he could feel his wrath bubbling beneath the surface. He laughed incredulously then began shaking his head. "It's not like that. Ginny's not…She's not! I told you, we've been fighting a lot. It's….not really anyone's fault. We just…we both have a lot issues to work out. But she's not…she's not like that."

"Why not?" the older wizard demanded coldly. "The poor little Weasley chit has never known anything but poverty. The only reason anyone paid her any notice to begin with is that she became close to the Boy Who Lived. Before you befriended her moronic brother, she was  _nothing_. Now? Now she's the wife of our _savior_ , Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, with probably more money than she knows what to do with, her face plastered all over the media. All of her wildest dreams have come true. Now, as any young gold digger would crave, she is off to find other avenues to expand her fame and wealth. She's used you for all you're worth and now you are to be cast aside without thought or care."

"What the bloody hell has gotten into you?" Harry demanded. "Shite! Ginny's been nothing but good to your ungrateful arse! Now you want to run around saying…She's not…How could you think that?"

"How could you  _not_?" Snape demanded furiously, pushing himself from his chair. At that moment, Harry scrambled to his feet, knocking over his glass in the process. Was the man really going to  _fight_  him over his wife? Where had this all come from, anyway? "Will you really run back to her the moment she decides she wants you again?" he spat.

"Why wouldn't…I wouldn't  _run_ …but…she's my wife!" Harry exclaimed, the words coming out just as jumbled as his mind was.

"A foolish mistake on your part, I must say." The man was approaching him slowly now.

Harry's heart picked up, jumping erratically in his chest as he backed away, stumbling and having to catch himself on the wall. What in the world was going on here? "You're not jealous, are you?" Harry snapped.

Fury flared in Snape's eyes. Harry thought he saw a hint of panic cross the man's face, but shoved it aside for the moment. "Why, you little…"

"Jealous. That's it. Because you're stuck here all alone. Really regretting the decision to play dead, aren't you?" Harry snapped. The older man snorted but Harry rambled on, struggling to make sense of the sudden blazing anger that had taken possession of his friend. "You may be a heartless bastard but you want someone. Do you miss my mum? Is that it? Does Ginny remind you of her? Or do you just want  _Ginny_?"

"I am hardly attracted to your wife, Potter," Snape growled. "She has the body of a prepubescent boy. I'm amazed by the level of lust she supposedly inspires."

"She does not!" Harry fumed. Ginny was beautiful! Her body was healthy and athletic, not at all the stick thin forms that were found fit these days or those curvaceous women Ron preferred with more breasts than anyone knew what to do with. It made perfect sense that people would want her! She was one of the prettiest girls Harry knew. "God, what is  _wrong_  with you?"

"Nothing is 'wrong' with me," Snape said stiffly. "I am merely puzzled as to why you would wish to stay in a marriage that clearly isn't working."

"You seem awfully ready for me to divorce her," Harry laughed bitterly. "You  _do_  want her, don't you?"

"No, Potter. I do not want  _her_."

"Then what…"

"Are you truly this dense, Potter? Must I spell it out for you?"

"Please!"

Harry waited, still pressed against the wall, watching Snape struggle with his decision. The older wizard seemed at a loss as to what to do. While he was well known for his coldness, his superior means of appearing unaffected as well as perfectly in control, he was also well known for having quite the temper and losing that enviable restraint of his when pushed too much. Only Harry couldn't figure out what had caused his temper to show. Nothing had even happened, other than him questioning why Snape was looking at him. A perfectly reasonable request, if you asked him! Now Snape looked for all the world wishing as though he could run away from this situation or punch Harry in the face. Possibly both.

"It would not be wise," Snape finally said, clutching to what of his dignity remained after such a show.

"Don't play the coward now, Snape," Harry snapped.

That was one sure fire way to press Snape's buttons. Before Harry was even aware of what was happening, the man had swept forward, strong hands grasping the front of his jumper. "Don't you dare play this game, Potter. I'm no coward, as you should well know by now! I only question whether you can understand your own request. You would surely regret desiring the knowledge once it is yours."

"I doubt there's much you can tell me that would bother me," Harry snorted. They had both seen, and done, a great deal of things in their lives. They had survived a war. While not all things Harry would be completely comfortable with, he felt he knew Snape well enough by now for nothing to really shock him or get to him the way the man apparently thought it would.

There were no clever remarks, no words spoken at all. He stood still, staring up into Snape's eyes, waiting for the truth to come out. For a long moment, the man took the time to search his gaze. Harry let him look, resisting the urge to fidget, holding back that anxiousness that made him want to scream at the man to say or do something already. A soft gasp escaped him as a cool hand came to slide around his neck. He half expected the man to start strangling him but he used only one hand to grasp the back of his neck, thumb pressing hard against the side as the man pulled him forward finally to press his thin lips against Harry's. Almost immediately, he jerked away but there was nowhere to go, really, with his back pressed to the wall and Snape pressed to his front. The older wizard was unwilling to let him go just yet, instead using his other hand to grasp his hair, forcing his mouth back against his, kissing him firmly.

Harry couldn't think of anything other than how wrong this was. Snape was kissing him! It had to be a joke. Snape was stronger than he was, physically, making it a struggle to get away. Never once did he stop to enjoy it or even think about it. All he knew was that he had to get away as soon as possible. Using all of his strength, he finally managed to shove Snape off him, then proceeded to punch him as hard as he could in the face before turning and running from the house. Part of him wanted to go back later on to yell at the man for what he had done but, by the time he got home, he was far too confused to do much of anything about it.

Snape never attempted to contact him in the weeks that followed. Harry also made no move to write or visit the man. The kiss was on his mind though, all of the time. His mind reeled with possibilities, dreams plaguing his sleep that disturbed him to no end the first several nights. It wasn't until two and a half weeks had passed, the day Ginny first uttered the word divorce, that Harry finally found the courage to see his friend. There was a great energy bundled up inside of him that he wasn't entirely sure what to do with as he stormed up to the front door, letting himself in without knocking. Part of him thought he might hit Snape when the man came into view, snarling at him as he entered the living room from the kitchen.

But Harry didn't hit him. The arms that reached out moved to grab Snape, to pull the man closer, grasping his stringy, greasy hair to pull him down into a deep kiss. The hours that followed needed no words, only the passion that was driving them as they kissed and touched their way to Snape's bedroom. While it was never actually confessed, Harry did later. through hours of discussing the topic with Hermione, figured that the reason Snape never stopped it, never dared say anything to Harry's abrupt entrance and interest in sex had everything to do with a refusal to spoil the moment and enjoy all of it he was allowed. Snape had ruined things with his first love, Lily. Had never got to experience with her the things he wanted to. It was the way of a man who had lost so much and, even though he well knew he would never fully have the object of his desires, was willing to make the most of what he was given. Perhaps that's why, even now, all of these years later, with no change, no hope for things every progressing between them, that Harry and Snape both willingly put themselves through this torment.

Even now, every inch of his body tingled in response to the memory. He bit his lips, swearing he could feel the ghost of those searing kisses against them. Skin burned at the thought of those skillful hands worshipping every inch of his body. Most importantly, at the vivid image of Snape  _finally_  pressing deep inside of his body, emerald eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the seat, while his butt cheeks clenched, almost feeling that ache all over again, a pain that never mattered much in comparison to the rewarding sensation of being so full. He moaned quietly at the sight behind his eyelids, of sweating, writhing bodies and a constant stream of groans and gasps. It was embarrassing that he felt his pants grow tighter as he became steadily aroused, eyes flickering open, willing the thoughts to go away in a panic when he fully realized what was happening and where.

He couldn't stay. He couldn't do this. With a shaky hand, he reached out to turn his car back on then glancing up to find that the curtains were pulled open and Snape was standing in one of the windows, staring at him. When their eyes met, Snape raised an eyebrow that caused Harry to sigh heavily then reach out to turn the car back off. Fuck. He frowned deeply when Snape disappeared from the window only for the door to open seconds later. Harry remained sitting in his car for a few minutes, just staring at the house. Already he knew what he was more than likely going to end up doing, though he didn't quite have his mind made up, nor did he really have the energy to go about doing anything.

This was always easier on their weekly visits with the family. Even just going with Ginny while the kids were at school gave it a purpose, made him feel like he wasn't doing something wrong. God, there was nothing more he wanted right now than to run into that house and drag Snape to his bedroom then ride him into oblivion. All he could think right now was how badly he wanted the older man buried deeply inside of him. How was he supposed to walk in there and resist everything Snape had to offer? His hand inched back to the keys in the ignition but as his fingers wrapped around them he paused for a long time before finally pulling them out, resigning himself to his fate. It took every ounce of his will to move from his car, carrying legs that felt too heavy to the door.

"No need to be afraid, Potter. I don't bite," Snape said smoothly from his position in his usual armchair. Harry sighed heavily and closed the door. "Not unless you're begging me for it."

A shiver rolled down his spine, though he forced himself to roll his eyes and attempt to act naturally. "I'm sure people request it so much," he muttered sarcastically. The whole  _I don't bite, unless you want me to_  line was old now. It almost surprised him that Snape was willing to throw it about.

Snape grinned slyly. "More than you would care to know."

That surprised Harry. "What?" he asked dumbly, heat rising to his face.

His friend looked at him as though he was being intentionally stupid. "Don't tell me you were under the assumption that I play celibate when you're not spreading your legs for me?"

Actually, that was exactly what Harry thought. While Snape was hardly one to run off proclaiming his emotions for the world's notice, but he had expressed his feelings for Harry quite clearly over the years for him to have a very good idea of how much the man loved him. So, it surprised him to learn that Snape actually had other lovers. It was odd, unpleasant, to think about. He had never imagined Snape to be so interested in sex, period, and it had been surprising that the man had been so horny whenever they were together. The shock alone outweighed everything else as he gaped at the man.

"What? When? Since…but I…just…what about… _Who_?" Harry demanded.

"That is hardly any of your concern, Mr. Potter," Snape said with some amusement. "A few individuals over the years. Lately, I have maintained an arrangement with a co-worker of mine, Mr. Egan Duff. He is around my age."

"Egan Duff? Sounds…" Harry immediately began, prepared to go on about how gay and girly the name sounded. Looking at how smug Snape looked, he cut himself off then looked away from the man. "I just don't…just… _why_?"

There was an irrational need to know everything about this Egan Duff character welling up inside of him. How old was he exactly? What did he look like? Was he smart? Did Snape have feelings for this man? His jealousy had never been as wild or volatile as Snape's but he could feel it bubbling up inside of him, shaming him.

"Don't look so hurt, Potter," Snape said in amusement. "You've been shagging that cow for twenty years. You hardly have the right to complain of my sex life."

"Don't call her that," Harry growled. "That's my wife."

"Then, perhaps, you should have remained in her bed and kept your heart in her capable hands," Snape replied.

"Is that why I'm here then, Snape?" Harry spat.

"Snape? Are we back to that?" he asked sly smirk. "No longer feigning any level of intimacy between us?"

Harry glared. " _Severus_. If you're here to try to win me over…"

"I will spare you the humiliation of actually having to finish that statement," Snape said dryly, raising his hands to halt Harry's words. "You truly are as arrogant as your father was." Harry opened his mouth instantly to interrupt, to snap at him for bringing his father into the discussion as he liked to do when he wished to upset Harry. Snape just kept going, raising his voice slightly as though knowing of his intentions and wanting to stop them before they even started. "This is not about you. Rather our sons."

That gave pause to any venomous comments Harry had been creating in his mind. His anger began to dissipate as he stared at the man. Rarely did Snape ever refer to James and Albus as their sons, instead as  _'your sons'_  or  _'the boys'_  or any number of names. Even when it was just them. Maybe he thought it would help them not to slip up, keeping the truth to themselves if they always referred to the children that way. Maybe it made him feel better, like he wasn't really their father, by calling them that. It always warmed Harry's heart, the few times he acknowledged that he was the biological father of his boys.

"James and Albus? What about them?"

"Albus knows," Snape said quietly.

"Knows what?" If Snape wanted to talk about the boys, something big must have happened. Hardly able to wait for Snape to get to the point, he wanted to snap at him when he motioned for Harry to sit. Huffing at the pointed look the man gave him, Harry quickly complied then shot him an impatient look. "Knows  _what_?"

"He is aware that I'm his father," Snape said.

"He  _what_?" Harry snapped, immediately jumping to his feet. By the look Snape gave him, Harry just stood there a moment before slowly sitting back down. "You told him? Why?"

"I did not  _tell_  him," Snape scoffed. "What sense does it make to tell him but not his brother?"

"Then how does he know?" Harry demanded.

"I do not know how, only that he does."

"How do you know?"

"Because I am more observant than you," Snape sniffed. "That is the likely cause of our predicament. While Jim may have taken after you…"

"Does it physically hurt you to call him James?" Harry muttered. For the longest time, Snape had refused to call James anything other than 'the boy'. They had been fighting the time James had been born, which was why Harry decided against Evan James, the name they had agreed upon, and instead named him James Sirius to spite him. At least with Evan James, it had only been the middle name and Harry had given the excuse of it being his own middle name, as well. With the git Snape had been around that time, more so than usual, Harry found it fitting punishment to name his firstborn son after two of the men he hated most. It was sad that the name did suit Harry pretty well, as they were after two of the most important men in his life. Once they made up, Harry did feel guilty about the whole thing, trying to offer up the various nicknames he and Ginny had come up with for Snape to use for him. They were all far too close to James for Snape's liking or too ridiculous. Only when James was four and a half did Snape decide that Jim was an appropriate name to call the child. No one, not even Snape himself, liked the name very much, though he did like to say 'At is at least better than the horrid moniker you cursed him with'.

"…in all of your athleticism and cluelessness, Albus has inherited my intellect," Snape went on. "When he remained behind the other day, it was made clear to me."

"What happened?" he asked irritably. If Albus knew then they were in trouble. They had hoped the boys would figure it out. Loathe as he was to lie to them this way, about this, it was best for everyone involved. For him to know...

"Questions of a parent's disregard for their own children," Snape said. "Suspicion arose then, but it was not until further conversation that I knew with certainty. We never stated it aloud in any blatant manner, but it would be difficult for you to understand how anyone could learn things without it being expressly given to them."

Harry's stomach sank. Snape's insults didn't even bother him as they normally would. He would like to think that it could be something else, that Snape was wrong, but he didn't like to lie to himself if he could help it. If Snape was so sure about this, then it had to be true. "Fuck," Harry groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

"That would be for you and your wife to discuss, Mr. Potter," Snape said. "I would suggest, of course, informing the two before they broach the subject themselves.  _Without_  letting them on to the fact that you are aware of their intelligence of the matter. I only found it imperative that I enlighten you to this news, lest I fall prey to the undoubtedly dreadful consequences should you be unable to mend this…unexpected interference with an otherwise flawless plan."

"Can you please not use big words when my head is already a mess?" Harry grumbled, rubbing his temples. "So you thought it would be bad for you…if…bad things happen now that…someone else knows? And you want me to fix it before it can hurt you?"

"How have I ever found this appealing?" Snape tsked.  "Precisely.  Now, do try to figure this out  _before_  they come breaking down my door. As you and Ginevra made it your duty to raise the boys in a lie, it's your responsibility to explain it all to them, not mine. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Harry sighed.

 

* * *

 

 

It hadn't taken much to get Teddy to leave, though James had been furious when Albus made him go. He didn't care how mad his brother got because he was already so furious with him! It was hard enough for him to come to terms with his knew knowledge without having this thrust upon him as well. He sympathized with Ginny a lot. She was his mother, regardless of whether or not they shared blood. That woman raised and loved him in a way that Snape never had and never would. Right now, Albus was angry with Harry and Snape for hurting her the way they had with their affair. And here James was, being just like Snape! The other man in an otherwise happy, perfect relationship. Victoire was their cousin! And he was just going to betray her trust? For what?!

"I can't believe you just did that! You don't even know anything about this, Al! You don't have the right to just go around being upset! This isn't about you!" James was yelling as Teddy Flooed back to the flat he shared with Victoire.

"Snape's our dad," Albus said.

" _What_?" James shouted. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"Snape is our father. You know, biologically and all. Our parents have been lying to us our whole lives," Albus said. At the moment, James didn't really deserve to know the truth at all but, maybe, once Albus got to explaining, it would knock some sense into his brother.

"You're barmy, mate," James muttered, shaking his head. "Mum would never cheat on dad! Least of all with  _Snape_!"

"It wasn't her. She isn't  _really_  our mum," Albus explained.

"You really have gone mad, haven't you?"

"Listen! She faked her pregnancy! Dad was the one who was pregnant the whole time! Dad and Snape have been buggering for years!" Albus said.

"That makes even less sense than Mum shagging him!"

"No, it doesn't. I saw them, okay? I saw Dad and Snape snogging during Christmas hols!"

"You did not!"

"I did so! Look, Dad has a Pensieve, doesn't he? I'll  _show_  you!"

"You're delusional. Besides, wouldn't someone have known that Dad was pregnant?" James demanded.

"I'm sure someone did," Albus said. "Just not everyone. They had to hide it, didn't they? Would be a useless lie to us if everyone else knew about it. Anyway, Snape's pretending to be dead, isn't he?"

"Right," James muttered. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this."

"James, I can  _prove_  it!" Albus hissed.

Black eyes narrowed suspiciously at him. Albus had a feeling the first place he would take James would be the nearest mirror. "Fine. Prove it then."


End file.
